I am different, but I am also just like you. The difference is that I am not afraid of the darkness I feel because I know enough to not sight of the bright light within me. Everyone's reactions and lack there of has been highly entertaining from my standpoint. I want to share some of my favorite messages because these are the people I am fucking fighting for. A special thank you thank you thank you to you!! I knew it was big but I never could've predicted how many people it would strike a tone with, to the point where they felt compelled to reach out.
Oh and let me just say not a SINGLE boy that owes me an apology has reached out(astonishing and also not, so very telling). Probably shaking in their boots, just as I suspected. The boys that have reached out are slimey slime and I'll share just one because I laugh in the face of them, now and forever. "Wow you got some nice tits" on snapchat as a reaction to my beautiful San Dunes shoot. Have we learned nothing boys? Thank you I know I love my body but guess what that is misogynistic and NOT the fucking point bruh!
This one knocked my socks off, a total stranger but not anymore; "I know you don't know me personally but I've followed you on instagram since middle school and I always thought you were the quintessential Boulder cool girl. I wanted to fit that quintessential Boulder cool girl stereotype so badly, so even tho I never met you or knew you I looked up to you in a way. Weird, I know. I just read all your blog posts and let me tell you sis. I almost cried seeing how much I relate to you and how much I want to do that same shit you're doing. I hope you know that you aren't just posting into the abyss, ur posts are going straight to the people that need to see them the most. ur posts have been like a big sister I never had, thank you for being so fucking real and showing me that boulder may not be ALL assholes after all, you inspire me<3<3" HOW AMAZING IS THAT. I strive to educate not only people my age but for younger girls reading and being able to learn too is so fucking beautiful. This is truly what I live for.
From a childhood friend I haven't connected with in years; "Hey chica! I have your number but I wasn't sure if it was the right one so I thought it would just be easier to dm u :) I've been reading your blog and seeing your insta and everything and just wanted to reach out again. reading your posts and seeing the things that you stand for now is very inspirational. u have clearly been through a lot and used it as an amazing source of strength. I know its been a while but so many of my childhood memories have u in them and I just wanted to send u my support on your amazing journey<3 it seems u have grown so much into who u r and I hope you are doing well!" Y'all have no idea how much this one meant to me. So much love for you.
From a face I knew but a person I didn't; "Hey! I know we don't really know each other at all but I just wanted to commend you for speaking out against your rapist and the rape culture in Boulder. Men can be fucking disgusting and people think Boulder has no problems but it's literally so fucked!!!! I believe you 100% and I'm sorry life has been serving you shit. Hope you're staying safe out there and that you can do some healing :)" So fucking awesome to hear from the people I had written off in ways because of stupid projections of my own self esteem. Things do get better. Love love love to you.
From someone I've "known" for a long time but never really given any thought or heart to until this; "I just caught up with all of your blog posts. I have to first say that your writing and art is beautiful, stunning, gorgeous, etc. I can't even put into words but it's wonderful. You have such a beautiful energy just glowing through my computer when I read your blog. I know we're not close and it's been quite a while but I have to say that what you have gone through just from what I've read I am so terribly sorry. I can see just through your social media that as fucking horrible as it is. It had made you strong and the person you are today. I think sharing these stories will help so many people. I personally haven't had this hardship in my life and I'm sure that you haven't shared everything or even close to everything you've gone through but thank you for doing what you're doing. I am enjoying reading your story and your truth. If you need anything please don't hesitate to reach out. Thanks for being you!!!! You're a true queen. Stay strong. <3<3<3<3<3" So. Fucking. Cool. People I never would've reconnected or thought about unless I started this journey of truth are popping back into my life. Amazing and lovely.
From a college friend I wish I had given more time to; "I've been keeping up with your blog, and that last post was strong af, addie. like holy shit, thank you for talking about it. I haven't gone through physical abuse like that in relationships, but thank you so much for sharing that. it's traumatic and it takes so much strength. keep at it, girl. you're doing good." I appreciate this more than you could ever imagine.
From someone whose name I had heard circulated around the rumor mill years ago, a new friend; "I know we don't really know each other but honestly I just wanted to reach out and say I think it's very admirable that you are so vulnerable and I admire your intentions with everything you have been doing on social media lately. I was honestly first intrigued by your instagram. I recently read all your blog posts. I feel like I can relate and have experienced a lot of the things you talk about!! I love the energy you put out and you're a bad ass bitch. The world needs more people like you and honestly I'm reaching out because I want to surround myself with people like you! I always call myself an introvert but actually I think I just hate the human race haha. I have a couple of real friends but I hate fake shit. I think there are SO many fake people here in the Boulder area. So important to connect with the people who aren't<3 I'm so sorry for everything you're gone through although it will only make you stronger. I feel like it was my younger time that I did crazy things and almost in a way "exposed" people haha. I didn't do it in a good way like you. Idk I just feel like we do have very similar pasts reading your posts. I would love to be friends. I want to be a support for you and learn from you. Ugh it was just so relatable when I starting reading your blogs. Truly a beautiful human<3" My heart is so fucking full from this shit. Such a beautiful true soul that's seen the shit and now knows better. Only love for you. <3
Of course there is the occasional message of criticism that I can handle but guess what?! The love trumps the hate in all fucking ways. The beauty and truth trumps the ugly lies. The beautiful(messy but still gorgeous) truth is serving me and so many more than I could've predicted, already! Keep it up Boulder(ladies mainly obviously) so many messages that I didn't type up too but I appreciate all the love and support more than you know. Keep reading, keep reaching out, keep being you/true.