Happy Friday! I just finished my first healing and cleansing session with a Chinese medicine doctor. Working with him was a reminder that speaking such truth it seems I have been somewhat hypocritical in ways. Like I have said previously I need and deeply aspire to let myself be treated such as the queen I am.
So this ones for you. From the start, our relationship was built on our reputations that proceeded us. I made the first move, I sat on your lap, that was bold and you fucking ate that shit up. We went back to my best friends house and with your help I stole an expensive bottle of champagne from their family(which I later payed for in being banned from their house). We did the dirty and you loved it just as much if not more than I did. From there I spent the night over at your dad's house for about a week straight, lying to my parents that I was with my best friend. Although we both payed the price for this in terms of my father's love and respect for us both. Awesome start, obviously.
You told me you loved me very early on. Love or lust? Who knows? But it was full blown "love" after that. We even had a ring we both wore on our index fingers of a sign of our "everlasting" love. Makes me giggle writing that. How naive I was. You promised the world, because you were the world(in your own eyes and now mine).
When I went to college for the first time you were in the forefront of my mind, so much so that when a new found love told me he loved me at school, I couldn't release you even though he was better in many regards(didn't just want me for my body or for me getting turnt the fuck up with the boys lol).
You liked party Addie, in fact you loved her, and that sir is just that, a fucking fact. I was fun I could ride with the boys but I never lived up to expectations of especially your Boulder bestie who told you early on that you had picked the wrong relative(speaking in relation to my "hotter" more affluent in many ways cousin) what a fucking joke.
Although your family and friends came to love me, I cannot say the same for you. You tried... sort of. But you were already stuck in your ways from the moment we locked eyes. I was disposable. Forever and always? My ass. I said that and I meant it and you said that then replaced me with psycho in human form less that a month after I left. The fuck? More to that story but you too deserve each other more than you deserve me. I am better. I am different.
I come from a family that loves and cherishes my whole being. And a circle of friends that don't care about the things yours do. There's obviously a lot more to this story but the bottom line is you never treated me like a queen but you were always the king. Of everything. Not. Any. Fuckin. More. Bruh.
I have dirt on you and all your minions as well and to expose you wouldn't be so difficult as I already have the force behind me. But like I said I am quite different from you. You intend to hurt with vengefulness and I intend to teach. You, and the rest of the town idiots. Thank you for "loving" me and thank you a ton for making me stronger than I ever have been. I owe you the world. Or do I?